Dwyer's Deeprealm Delinquent Detail
by twicely
Summary: Siegbert has been assigned a team of 5 of the most unruly Deeprealm units. Their mission - investigate a supply blockage to the north of the front lines. Secretly, however, Xander hopes that the task will build character among the somewhat kooky kids, and teach them the teamwork skills needed to eventually fight in the war. Can Siegbert set these slackers straight? Probably not…


FIRE EMBLEM FATES: CONQUEST - DWYER'S DEEPREALM DELINQUENT DETAIL

I'm focusing on the child units of Fates in this story. More kids will be added as the story goes on/by popular demand. Pairings are gonna get a little wild - I've several coffees and am currently in possession of an excellent keyboard and I'm liable to do anything at this point. Otherwise - enjoy!

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CHAPTER ONE

Dwyer was tired - so very tired. Clutching a mug tightly, he sat at a table in the corner of a tavern, valiantly fighting to pretend he wasn't seconds from falling in his own drink. The chatter of the evening crowd all around him served only to make him more exhausted by the second, and giving in, he slumped over in his seat, closing his eyes. He wasn't entirely sure why he was here or why he was awake, but he had decided to rectify the second situation immediately. For now, at least, that would suffice.

"Hey, Dwyer! Can't handle the drink? Well, don't pass out yet, we haven't even gotten ourselves a room for the night!" Dwyer slowly opened his eyes and looked up. Soleil, his fellow unit, was standing over him, a massive grin on her face. Dwyer, annoyed at her sudden presence, weakly lifted a finger in her direction.

"How… dare you, Soleil. I am not drunk. I'm... just... _extremely..._ tired."

Soleil (not really listening) sat down beside him and slapped him on the back, laughing. "We're really gonna have to carry you back to the room at this point, aren't we? Oh well, it's no trouble at all. Sleep it off and come tomorrow, you'll be completely fine, I promise!"

Dwyer, with great effort, turned his face towards her with a glare. "It's not… I… ...You know what? I've had enough of this. I'm _actually_ going to go to sleep here. I don't care." He proceeded to close his eyes determinedly, ignoring her.

Soleil had already lost interest in him, however, and she instead turned to the other person at their table. "So it's just you and me then, hmm?", she said. "A lonely rose, sitting by herself on such a night? Lying neglected amongst the evening's festivities? I cannot stand for it. It is an offense against all that I call dear! My honor as a knight calls me to buy the rose a drink, for only after watering its roots will its flowers truly, uh, _bloom_... I'm actually not sure where I was going with that metaphor..."

The girl she was speaking to, Sophie, sighed and turned away, her silver hair swaying. "Oh come on, Soleil. Why do you always have to do this? Just talk normally."

Soleil leaned in closer. "Whatever you wish, my rose. I will respect your privacy and handle this rejection with quiet dignity befitting of your radiance. I shall keep your cruel words close to my heart, but as they are words spoken by you, and you alone… they will suffice to keep me warm at night all the same."

"Soleil! You said that last time! In fact, you said it exactly the same way!" Sophie said. "You know this is serious, right? We can't afford to fool around on a mission like this!"

Soleil quickly slid across the bench to her, and threw her arm around Sophie's shoulder. "I understand, milady. If you come across danger of any sort in the days to come… merely say my name, and I will gladly rise to the occasion. I would lay down my _life_ for one as lovely as you."

Soleil continued her one-sided assault on Sophie, until an smug voice from the table behind them rang out.

"Pathetic. You haven't changed a bit. If this is truly the only way you know how to flirt, I doubt you've ever once been successful."

Soleil froze and looked around. Standing behind her was Nina, a fellow soldier like Soleil and Sophie, enlisted in the Nohrian army. With her hands on her hips, she gave Soleil a smug look.

"You're trying to do the impossible. Like anyone here would be interested in the likes of you!"

Soleil frowned. "No need for that, Nina! If I see someone cute, I'm going to want to talk to them. Is that really too much?" She leaned towards Sophie again. "Is it now, my dear?"

Nina's smirk widened into a sneer. "Your technique is weak, and you have no charm. It's honestly kind of sad." she said, and pointed at Soleil. "Your words are as _clumsy_ as your dancing!"

"My da… Oh no. _Oh, no._ That's it!" shouted Soleil, as she leapt to her feet. Stomping over to Nina, she grabbed her tunic and pulled her face close. "I'm not gonna sit here and be lectured by someone like you! You can't even appreciate cute girls! You're TRASH!"

"It doesn't matter if I can or not! You're just a creep! I can't believe I was assigned to the same unit as you!" yelled Nina.

"I am not a creep!" Soleil said. "I protect the weak, and the cute, and those who are both weak and cute! And I am utterly faithful to my friends!" She turned around. "Isn't that right, Dwyer?"

Dwyer, who had been awake the whole time, and who was fond of both girls, didn't move. After a couple seconds, a meek voice reached their ears: "I'd… really rather… not get involved… in this…"

"See!" Soleil said, turning back to Nina. "He understands!"

" _How is that an agreement in any way?!_ "

They continued their squabble for a couple minutes after, during which Dwyer unsuccessfully attempted to lift his glass to his mouth several times before collapsing entirely.

Suddenly, someone appeared at the tavern door. Sophie, who had been watching the fight with interest, quickly stood up.

"Siegbert, sir! Good evening!"

Siegbert, son of the heir apparent to the kingdom of Nohr (and the leader of their squadron), smiled at her and walked in.

"Good evening, Sophie. I trust our preparations for lodging at this inn have been completed?"

"Ahh… about that, sir." Sophie grimaced. "With Soleil and Nina all up in a bother, and Dwyer… indisposed, I'm afraid I didn't remember to get our rooms for tonight. I'm really sorry…"

"Well, it cannot be helped, I suppose." sighed Siegbert. "We may have to look elsewhere, tonight, if we cannot secure rooms here."

Dwyer spoke again from underneath his folded arms. "Sir… I am afraid I may in fact be incapable of walking, at this present moment. Or movement of any kind, for that matter."

"Then… we are in a most grave position." said Siegbert. He rubbed his forehead, overcome with the stress of the moment. "Mayhap we will have to bargain for our rooms, with those who already possess them. I must only hope our stipend of gold will last this night…" Backed into a corner, he covered his face and sunk into the seat, overcome with despair. "Father! I have failed you!"

"I've had enough of this!" Soleil, still arguing, drew her sword. "If you can't understand the divine glory of cute girls yourself, then I'll have to teach you… WITH MY FISTS!"

"DRAWING THAT SWORD IS REALLY SENDING ME MIXED MESSAGES, YOU KNOW!" shouted Nina, drawing her own weapon. They leapt at each other again, with renewed ferocity.

Siegbert was having a mild nervous breakdown, with Sophie trying to comfort him. Dwyer had accepted his fate, and was now one with the table. The rest of the tavern watched the five's melodrama with interest.

"Umm… guys?" A familiar voice called out, and everyone looked up. Velouria was standing by the stairs, clutching several keys. She had a puzzled expression on her face. "No one was getting the rooms, so I figured…" She surveyed the chaos in front of her. "Is, um, everything alright?"

Siegbert lurched over to Velouria and grabbed her shoulders. His eyes dug into hers, a desperate, delirious smile on his face. "Thank gods, Velouria! I don't know what we would do without someone such as you! To hell with those who would persecute you because of your wolfskin heritage! I still count you among one of my most trusted allies, and will do so until my last days! I will send word to Grandfather, and you will surely be rewarded for your deeds after this mission has concluded!" He broke down again, weeping into her sleeve.

Velouria was even more puzzled. "Thank you… but I only bought us rooms…" She rummaged in her bag, and pulled out a sack, handing it to Siegbert. "Here! This is the remainder of the gold we have." Her ears perked up with anticipation. The room must be _really_ good! It cost almost half of our sack of gold. I can't wait to see the beds!"

Siegbert stared at the sack, his eyes wide. "Half… of our gold…?"

Behind him, Soleil and Nina's duel had devolved into a brawl. Soleil had Nina in a headlock with Nina's sheathed knife, and they were both struggling hard. "GIVE… IN… TO THE CUTENESS..." Soleil grunted. "NEVER…" Nina pushed against Soleil's grip with all of her strength. Soleil pulled harder, and harder, until suddenly the knife slipped out of her hands - flying into the air. As Siegbert stared at Velouria's purse in shock, the knife streaked across the room and smashed into the back of his head, hilt-first. Siegbert's eyes rolled up, and he hit the ground, out cold.

Everyone looked at his lifeless body with horror.

"Good thing… we bought the rooms… then…" mumbled Dwyer. That said, he finally fell asleep.

 _Several days ago..._

Xander, Crown Prince of the Nohrian Army, and commander of its forces, stalked through the halls of his fortress, rubbing his head with his hands and muttering to himself.

Xander's army had so far largely been successful in their conquest of Hoshido, the far Eastern nation, and Xander's father, King Garon, was extremely pleased. Nohr, as a barren and desolate land, faced famine and death at every turn; to counter this, they invaded and looted other nations for resources. Their latest target was Hoshido, who, after a series of denied trade appeals, turned its back on Nohr entirely, earning their anger. Garon immediately ordered a full-scale invasion of the area, with Xander at its head. With Nohr's heavily armoured and mounted troops, they had been able to blow through the Hoshidan foot-soldiers with ease in the beginning stage of the war.

The problem Xander faced, then, was a little trickier. Having a fully integrated army meant that both men and women served together, and under such pressure-filled situations, it was only natural for relationships of every kind to form. One thing leads to another, and the amount of pregnancies in his army grew slowly, until it came under his notice. The troops under Prince Corrin's army, Xander had noted, seemed to have a much greater tendency to fall in love (and hook up), than the rest, in particular. A pregnant soldier was an incapacitated soldier, and thus a burden on his army. Luckily, Prince Leo, Xander's brother, had come up with a clever solution to this problem.

There existed in Nohr a land called the Deeprealms, which lay between dimensions. Time in the Deeprealms flowed at a pace many times faster than the outside world. It could be accessed by Xander's army, and it… well… Xander actually didn't know much about the Deeprealms, but it worked fine enough for his purpose. Leo theorized that if they dropped off a pregnant soldier in the Deeprealms, time would move fast enough for them to have their baby in a matter of days (in the real world). This was immediately proved correct by the first couple of volunteers, who gave birth and recovered with little trouble, and were back in fighting shape in a week. Although the ethics of the situation troubled Xander, he had managed to put any doubts out of his mind. After all, it seemed like the perfect solution.

The newborn babies, which naturally were unable to survive in a war-torn environment, were left in the Deeprealms, where they would be safe, raised by surrogate parents. Unfortunately, the Nohrians were unaware of just how fast time could flow in the Deeprealms, and before he knew it most of the children born there had grown into young adulthood. This presented a serious problem for many reasons, but _chiefly_ among them was the matter of his own son.

Xander had indeed fathered a child, named Siegbert, who as of this moment was of age and eager to help in his father's war. Xander was rather unenthusiastic about his son's ambitions, having only seen him as a newborn several months ago, and was attempting to think up reasons to dissuade his son from taking up arms. After a good strategy session with his top tacticians, he had devised the perfect plan. Now was the time to put it into action.

Xander strode into his study, motioning his butler to follow. "Bring Siegbert to me immediately. I wish to speak with him about his future as my heir." he said, seating himself in his armchair. "Brew two cups of tea, while you're at it."

"Yes, my lord." said the butler, who turned and quickly left the room. Xander busied himself with several troop records from the previous battle for a couple of minutes, attempting to

calm his nerves. A short while later, a knock on his door signified the butler's return.

Xander straightened and took a deep breath. "Come in!"

The butler entered bearing a tray, with the two cups of tea balanced on top. Following him was Siegbert, who wore an uneasy expression under his blonde hair. Siegbert was close to his father, and Xander had made regular trips to the Deeprealms to train the boy, but the issue of joining his army had made their relationship tense.

"My son, as you know, I have approved your request to join the Nohr army, given your exemplary bravery and skill shown during our most recent battle," said Xander.

"F-father, I am honored by the chance that you have given me." began Siegbert. "I only wish to prove my worth in battle as your son and heir-"

Xander lifted a hand to stop him. "I understand, and I respect your decision. However, you must understand the extraordinary situation that we, as parents, have found ourselves in." He pointed at Siegbert. "Only several months ago, you were a _newborn._ I have visited you as often as possible, but even that only translated to once every six months, by your judgement of time. I'm sure you cannot conceive of how I feel, but to go from not having a son of any sort, to having a heir who is of age, in less than a year… it is a difficult situation to get used to."

"I…" Siegbert looked crestfallen. A little dismayed by Xander's words, he stood there saying nothing. After a couple of seconds, however, he seemed to recover his nerve. Looking up at Xander, his face was resolute. "I understand how you feel, Father. But though you may have only experienced my life in passing, I assure you that I have lived to the full extent that my 18 years have allowed me. I have devoted my life in the Deeprealms to the sword, to the pen, and to the code of honor that our Nohrian lineage lives by. I assure you that I will not be a burden on your army. Far from it! I only wish to be given the opportunity to prove this to you."

Xander rested his forehead on his fingers, considering Siegbert's plea. Looking at Siegbert's eyes, stubbornly holding his gaze, he realized the futility of arguing with his son. Sighing inwardly, Xander decided to execute his backup plan.

"Very well." Xander stood up suddenly, startling Siegbert. " _Very well!_ You wish to join our army? You wish to help our purpose? Then you will have your chance."

Siegbert's surprise quickly turned into delight. "Really, Father? I-I don't know what to say… You won't regret this-"

"Siegbert, I trust you. You have adapted to the world outside of the Deeprealm, and to your courtly duties, with excellent tact and good judgement. However, many do not share your luck. Many of the Children of the Deeprealms, newly returned to this world, seem to have adjusted poorly to their new circumstances. Some have developed… behavioral problems, which prevent them from becoming truly excellent Nohrian soldiers.

"Therefore I bestow upon you the appointment of a special squadron composed of your peers. You will act according to my express instructions, and fulfill scouting missions that will help to gather intelligence for our army's future plans."

Siegbert was slightly taken aback. "Father, you're putting me in charge of the other Deeprealm soldiers? Is there really such a need for that?"

Xander smiled grimly. "I'm putting you in charge of a very _specific_ group of the Deeprealm children. Those who have demonstrated the problems that I listed earlier. They lack the understanding and self-discipline needed to join our army, and to make matters worse, many have gathered repeated offenses on their records, for various misdemeanors."

He stood up from his chair and drew close to Siegbert, putting his hand on his shoulder. "My son, you are the second in succession for the throne of Nohr. You will one day wield unimaginable power, the likes of which even I have not truly experienced myself. Consider this a test of leadership. Are you a man who can inspire those around him to improve themselves through your actions and examples? Or are you simply not ready to bear the responsibility?"

"I won't disappoint you, Father!" said Siegbert, beaming. "I'll make exemplary Nohrian soldiers out of each and every one of them, just you wait!"

Xander smiled back, warmly this time. "Excellent. I will make the necessary preparations. Come to the common room in the north tower after dinner tonight, and you shall see your units."

"I will be there! Thank you again, Father!" said Siegbert, as he left the room.

Xander continued smiling as Siegbert left, but quickly dropped his pleased expression once his son had left his view. Leaning on his desk, he closed his eyes and sighed. "Gods, that's taken care of."

He sat back down in his armchair, a sudden tiredness taking hold of him. "Talking to him... truly is a sobering experience, as always. He cannot be more than ten years younger than me, and yet he _is_ my son."

As Xander continued to ponder the strange twist that fate had seen fit to give him, Siegbert strode away, eager to prove himself to his father. But he would have to prove himself to his fellow units, first...

 _Later that day…_

Siegbert made his way to the North Tower shortly after dinner. Having feverishly read an ancient tome of leadership tips cover-to-cover just after leaving Xander's office, he was feeling fairly confident about his newfound position of authority. Rolling up the sleeves of his red tunic as he approached the door to the common room, Siegbert paused just in front and took a deep breath. Then, steeling himself, he threw it open. But before he could open his mouth to speak, he was drowned out by the scene in front of him.

"...they will suffice to keep me warm at night all the same."

"Gods, you really never stop, do you? A-and stop taking my rejections so well!"

Siegbert watched the chaos unfold before him with amazement. There were five people in the room, all of whom seemed to be around his age. Two girls were sitting together (the ones who had spoken just now), with a third seemingly glaring at them. Another was squatting in the far corner of the room, building a tower out of what looked like scraps of leftover bread (?). The fifth, the only boy, was asleep, sprawled over the table in the center.

"Greetings, all! My name is Siegbert, the son and heir to Crown Prince Xander of Nohr. I have grown up in the Deeprealms, as you all have, and I hope to command your respect and build a strong relationship with all of you as we work to bring honor to our nation-"

The three girls to the side looked over to him briefly, then went back to their argument.

"How sad. You're not going to get anywhere with cheesy lines like that, you know. It's simply not fitting for a girl like you to even try." tittered the third girl, whose hair was done up into two long braids.

"Ah! Your words cut so deep, yet they come from lips so lovely. Why must all of the most exquisite flowers possess the sharpest thorns? If only - if only - if… actually, GODS, I REFUSE TO HEAR ANY MORE ABUSE FROM YOUR MOUTH, NINA! YOU'RE A KNAVE AND A DASTARD TWICE OVER!"

The girl with the spiky hair picked up the chair she had just leaped out of and hurled it at the braided girl, who easily dodged. The chair bounced off the mantle at the far end of the room and to the right, where it knocked over the bread-pyramid, which appeared to be one piece of food away from completion.

"Oh… sorry, Velouria…" The girl drew her hands to her mouth, distressed. "But hey, it's just bread, right? I'll help you make it again!"

The girl in the corner said nothing. A shadow seemed to cover her features, sending a chill up Siegbert's neck. She slowly stood, trembling, and lifted a hand to point at the spiky-haired girl.

" _Soleil…"_

Siegbert felt a sudden breeze. He realized that the boy at the table had woken up and sped behind him. He was currently peering over Siegbert's shoulder with a worried (yet still somewhat sleepy) expression on his face.

"Hello, Sophie." said the boy. "Fancy seeing you here."

Siegbert felt another hand on his shoulder and realized that the girl with the short hair had somehow slid behind him as well. She smiled at the other boy. "Glad to see you're finally awake, Dwyer."

"Wait a second…" started Siegbert. "Sophie? Are you the daughter of Silas, knight of Nohr?"

"That's me!" said Sophie cheerfully. "What was your name, again? Cuthbert, was it?"

"Er, that's Sieg-"

Siegbert's correction was drowned out by a shriek. Velouria had leapt at Soleil and was now chasing her and Nina around the room.

"Gods, what's going on here? Is- is that a _knife?"_

It had been strapped to her tail - a classic Wolfskin tactic.

Siegbert disliked loudness, chaos, and anything outside of his control. Summoning all the authority he possessed, he breathed in deeply, then bellowed at the top of his lungs.

"STOP THIS FOOLISHNESS! I WILL NOT HAVE IT! CARRY YOURSELVES AS A PROUD NOHRIAN CITIZEN MUST, NOT AS THE CLOWNS YOU CURRENTLY EMBODY!"

Velouria, Soleil, and Nina stopped. They looked at him as though they had only just noticed his existence.

"And who are you to order us around, dastard?" said Nina, stepping close to him. Dwyer and Sophie didn't move away, creating a rather uncomfortable situation for Siegbert.

"I am Siegbert, son of Prince Xander. _And_ your new squadron commander." said Siegbert pointedly. "If I may ask, who are _you?"_

Nina drew even closer, right up to his chest. Siegbert was now locked in a triangle of awkward proximity. "Nina, son of Niles. The best bandit in the land. And I answer to nobody, least of all the heir-to-the-heir to the authoritarian pile of shite kingdom that is Nohr!"

"I…" Siegbert was taken aback at her words. He was spared the task of challenge of making a comeback, however, as Nina was promptly shoved aside by Soleil, who grinned and thrust her hand at him to shake.

"Nice to meet you, Sieg! My dad's Laslow. You know, Xander's most trusted retainer? Anyway, hope we can get along, and all that. Sorry about the girl beside me, she has absolutely _no_ class whatsoever. So, what's our mission? Is it top-secret? Something befitting the son of the Crown Prince and the daughter of his greatest companion? I HOPE SO!"

"Ah…" Siegbert, dazed by the attitude whiplash, was struggling to gather his thoughts. "It's… nice to meet you too, Soleil. I've heard… great things about your father."

Soleil's grin got even wider. She pointed at the girl with the hood, who had tired herself out giving chase and had given up, for the time being. "This is Velouria, daughter of Keaton. She's a good friend. She's also _definitely_ going to forgive me after I give her my sword that I broke sparring today because it's just the kind of thing she'd dearly like…. and she's a very nice person…"

Velouria sighed, but seemed to cheer up. "Throw in those old boots you stopped wearing last week, and... I'll think about it."

"Oh, you're the daughter of Keaton? The wolfskin? Then you must also be…" Siegbert noticed the obvious fluffy tail and ears poking out from the hood at the last possible second, and turned red as he realized how foolish he had sounded.

"Keaton? Have you met my father? Have you? Have you? You really should, he's just absolutely amazing!" said Velouria, by way of explanation. Siegbert now began to realize why Xander was worried about his fellow Deeprealm units.

The boy from before slid in front of him. "Good day to you." he said. "I'm Dwyer."

"Ah, good to meet you." said Siegbert, extending his hand. Dwyer stared at him for several more seconds, nodded, then slowly moved back towards his original spot. Siegbert was unsure how to react to this.

"So, Sieg!" Sophie spun him around to face her. "You said you're our commander, then? Has the Nohr army finally seen fit to put us to use? How wonderful!"

"T-that's right." said Siegbert. "I'm to command you all for a special scouting mission in the Hoshidan midlands. We're gathering intelligence for any future movements that may take place in those locations."

"Sneaking around?" said Soleil. "Not really my thing, but hey, sounds like it'll be fraught with danger! Just the kind of adventure I crave!" She shot a sultry glance at Sophie. "To be able to fight alongside Sophie's magnificence… this will be an experience unlike any other."

"Muhrf," said Dwyer. He had gone for his afternoon nap - standing up.

Siegbert sensed tension in the room brewing again, and before anyone could argue with anyone else, he hastily finished his thoughts:

"Anyway, meet me in the courtyard two days from now at sunrise. We should make the border town of Langley by nightfall, and we can rest then. I'll tell you the rest of the instructions I've been given on the way."

Siegbert noticed Nina opening her mouth, likely to contest his claims of leadership once more. "It has been good to meet you." he added quickly. "Now I must bid you all good night. _Good night!"_ He rushed out of the room, closing the door behind him.

The five looked at each other.

"He seems nice." said Dwyer, still asleep.

Siegbert ran far from the common room, only stopping as he ran out of breath. He grasped his head with both hands. "Father…" he gasped. "What fresh hell have you plunged me into?" He staggered back to his quarters, faced with the terrifying prospect of working with the lunatics in that room.

Siegbert fell onto his bed and lay there catatonic.

As he continued to despair, the book he had finished earlier caught his eye. Siegbert, seeing it again, suddenly remembered the trust his father had placed in him for the mission. "That's right…" he said. "A prince can never back down from his responsibilities. It doesn't matter how insane they may be, they may have potential yet! I… I have to command them, if I am to one day rule Nohr. I will!"

Jumping up onto the bed in a flash, he grabbed the book and held it high.

"Father!" He shouted. "I promise you! No matter how difficult it may prove to be, I _shall_ make good soldiers and Nohrians out of my fellow Deeprealmers! Just you watch! HOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAARRRRAAAGH!"

The butler's voice called out from beyond the door. "Master Siegbert, if you would please watch your volume…"

"Eep! Right, sorry!"

But as Siegbert would prove to find later on, talk was cheap - and he truly had his work cut out for him.


End file.
